Disappointment.

It have been awhile since I last blogged
And I guess there's a need to do this 
Because I don't know who else I can talk to about this.
Okay, it's regarding CSS
I'm not blogging this because I'm eliminated
But because my best friends are changing
As the competition goes on, we starting to drift away from each other
This is not what I want in this perfect friendship we have.
Don't take my concern for granted please 
To whoever I shall not mention name
I knew you would get the lowest score for the week
Its not that I purposely want you to be lowest
But I felt that urgency for you to experience what does being the lowest feels
So you could perform better next round and at least learn something
Maybe you dislike me or whatever I don't know
But now what you are doing, is call, taking your friends as granted
Its not my responsibility to worry about you know ?
I did it because I wanted to, because I care
I treat you like a little sister, but I don't think you ever appreciate it man.
For every single time you dao me, I feel pissed ya'know ?
But I let it go, every single time
Stop doing this man, I know you might be stress and all this
But it's not right, to take your friends as granted.

being emotional,

Hey people, I guess I'm gonna update my blog with this kind of feeling man.
Yeah, emotional post. Why ? This is why love sucks.
Okay, maybe haven't reach that stage, but the feelings are already there.
I can't figure myself out, I never cherish things that I could get easily.
So I go for things and people that is hard to get. 
I know I'm the one to blame, I brought this on myself.
But I really hate this feeling to the very damn max. 
I can never figure out what you are thinking about.
Every single time you dao me, one word me, you land a punch on my heart.
I don't know how to hide my feelings man, and I'm sure you can feel how I feel.
Even though I didn't show it, but I guess its pretty obvious
But you know, cuz everything you do, I can't see through why are you doing that and so on.
I'm pretty loss, loss in the labyrinth within you.
I myself are complicated, but I guess there will always be people that are more complicated than you.
Ever since the start of this year, I really tried to change the way I think.
I stopped jumping to conclusion, I stopped assuming things
I stopped acting like I'm mature, I stopped acting like the way I shouldn't be.
To girl I shall not mention name, I don't know how do you think about me.
Probably, I'm irritating, lame, ugly, etc ? 
I wanted to be able to do the "on and off" my friends told me
But every single time I wanted to dao you, I feel awfully bad.
Do you feel that way when you dao me ? I guess not huh.
Here I am ranting about my feelings and nobody is reading it, desire of wanting people to know.
But I find it inappropriate to talk to anyone about this. Not Leonard, not Meiyee, not Joseph, none of them.
I don't know why am I keeping this to myself, I really don't know.
But as much as I know, if I let anyone know about this, the relationship between me and you will totally be screwed.
Ugh, tell me what to do. How do I get the words out of my chest ?
Nothing feel real anymore man, not this "let down" feeling, not this "I like you" feeling, none of them feels real.
But it seems so real, I feel so fake, but so real. 
For each and every raindrop that reaches the ground, my heart shrinks a little.
Until nothing is left, until I feel absolutely nothing.

The tiny raindrops that land on my hand

Hey people :)

It sure has been awhile since I last blogged

Well... I was lazy :b

Exam is over and my result came out

I would say that I did pretty well !

5 As , 2 Bs , 1 C and 1 F

Well I failed my science...

Its alright, I still get promoted to Sec 3 Express anyway !

Alright, today I'm just gonna talk about parents

Parents , parents , parents

I know I have no right to say this but

Why are everyone hating their parents ?

I don't get it, I seriously don't 

I mean, parents are the next best thing happen in your life

Besides your true love . 

So why are we hating them when we are suppose to appreciate them ?

To be frank, I ain't no Mr. Goodie Doodie

I was once a really rebellious kid 

I lied, I smoke, I drink , I fought

Well, except that I didn't get a tattoo for myself.

Other than that, I'm a 100% rebellious kid.

But when I realize that I'm the one who causes my mum to cry

I actually hated myself

Not just that because I'm a boy and I'm not suppose to make a women cry

But its because she is my mum

I had this dream last night

Though its abit crazy but yeah, I saw my mum dying in front of me.

I don't wanna describe what was in my dream but yeah..

When I woke up, I felt lost.

I started to question myself

"How will I continue with my life without my mum's presence ?" 

"Will I be able to cope with the life if she's gone ?"

Hey, I'm not over-attached to my mum

But it's just that the thoughts just hit me

We got to realize that people will leave one day

As death is part of our life journey

So I don't get why people hate their parents

The time we have to be with our parents is short

If you don't appreciate it now, when are you going to do that ?

Don't always hate your parents for what they did wrong.

And start thinking about the good things they have done for you

---------------------------

So... Holidays...

I don't really know what I should do for my holiday..

All I know is that, $250.

I need to save $250 for someone, someone special.

I broke a lot of promises before

And I told myself this will be the one which I shall not break

That will be the first time which we actually meet each other.

Aw well, till then , I shall work hard for bucks.

night skies and shining stars

"If I choose to text a person day and night, then their important to me"

Hey people

I'm spending my boring weekend

Updating this shitty old blog of mine :)

EOY is around the corner

I'm feeling so stressed out ><

Not because I'm nervous or what

But I still can't improve on my maths & science

It was really frustrating because both the subject

are

IMPORTANT

So my mum kinda emphasize on me to pass them

So miracle happens

I start studying :/

In school, after school

I'm studying non-stop 

It was kinda hard for me ya'know

Considering the type of person I am

Always playing and not studying...

FUCK THAT

I will only keep up with this till EOY finish

After that, no more study

My maths, really, facepalm

I can't even get my factorization right -.-

ALGEBRA, seriously, the biggest douche I ever known

Open bracket, changing of signs

asdfghjkl...............

Really hope I could past my EOY with flying colors. 

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ShoutOut Section

----------

Same old person, 大小姐

Heh, be honored horh :b

I mentioned you in my blog, unlike you :3

I know I'm super noisy, super lame

But bear with me because I'm me :)

I don't mind being an alternative of your listener

As I always knew you got a bunch of close friends :)

But whenever you need someone to talk

And there's no one to turn to

I'll be there for you :)

I can't promise you I'll always always be there

But as much as I could, I will be

You'll probably doubting why would a guy

Treat you like this and etc etc

Well, because I'm crazy :3

Not much intention anyway

We started as strangers then now

Normal friend :b 

HAHAHAHA, OKAY LAME

Don't always stay up till so late

Don't always LAZY to eat

If you want to stay young and pretty

Sleep earlier, eat on time :3

I know it's hard to get over a person

I've been there before, I know how you feel :)

Don't keep everything to yourself

Sometimes, Its okay to cry or to have some moodswing :)

Surely a bunch of people have already told you that

So I'm not gonna repeat what they said

But, stay as the way you are now :)

CursedPonies, the Poisoned Goddess :)

----------

Okay, now wrap this up with some love talks

I'm always the kind that cling on to the past

So I have moodswings occasionally 

Have you ever felt that

Every song, every place

Every backview of a person, every voices

Reminds you of someone, who were once close to you ?

I guess everyone does :)

To everyone that is still clinging on to the past r/s

Smile more, cry more

People like us are badly wounds and need to be alittle crazy

Time heals everything ? No

They just make everything more blurry 

So eventually you won't even remember

Who is that person you once loved 

You might remember his name, what you guys did together

But try, try to recap, if that feeling is still the same ?

Sometime you thought you still love that person

But actually, you've already get over them

You don't feel the same as last time

Perhaps still a little heartbeat, alittle wobby eyes when you saw them

But you guys are certainly over them.

Cheer up, look far

Someone better is waving at you, waiting for you to open your heart

Much love :) 

"Don't be afraid to love, don't be afraid to fall"

Be courageous, people

Love is everywhere :) 

The seas high and the mountains' low

"Why spending your entire trying to impress others when all you need to do, is just be yourself ? "

Hey people, being a little pessimistic today. I just like to do moodswing in my everyday life :) 

A little CRAZY, FUNNY, ANGRY, LOVELY

Just being myself.

It's funnysometimes when you does moodswing

People will never, I repeat, never

Get the definition of moodswing

They will just keeeeeeeeeeep asking

"Are you alright ?"

Normally, they asked because they care

BUT

My friends asked because they thought I'm crazy !

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

My cliques are always crazy

Every clique that I'm in, we're crazy

We do crazy stuffs, random shits

We get mad at each other, laughing at each other

Good times

Sometimes I asked myself

"How long will this kind of days last ?"

Not to jinx anything but yeah

That's how I feel

People don't stay forever

At least most of them don't

So it's normal if anything happens

And the clique is being tear apart

I know this is random 

But just want to say some little thing to my clique

"Hey guys"

"I know everyone has their flaws and strength"

"Don't compare among yourselves"

"There ought to be times when argument "

"Come into our life"

"But no matter what happen"

"You guys are the best -smile- " 

-----------

Alrightyyyyyy

Let's end that little tea party right there

Shall continue with my blogging 

I fell sick few days ago

And it lasted till today. :/

1. Sore Throat

2. Fever

3. One Day MC 

It's funny how excited people is when they got MC

As if MC are the best thing they could get

During weekdays

I spent my friday and weekend at home

Eat, Shit ,Sleep, Whatsapp

Eat, Shit, Sleep, Whatsapp

Eat,Shit,Sleep, Whatsapp

Eat,Shit,Sleep, Whatsapp 

--------

Yeah, that's basically what I did for that 3 days

I'm likka rotting half-alive dude

Met some new friend

A girl :D 

Her name is Parisa, Parisa Bong

Cute girl, great personality 

Blogshop lover 

She's a Cancer :B

We chat for a few time and yeah

Still having fun talking to her though :)

PONY

"If you even happen to be reading this"

"Haha"

"I know I'm just a stranger walking into your life"

"But I'm gonna stick around and poke my nose into your life :b"

"I-I-I-I don't care what you sayy"

"Just reserve the last few minute of your everyday life"

"Then chat with me :D"

"OKAY!? OINK"

Talking about blogshopping

I guess I shall start selling things again

If not where should I get money from ? Mmmmm ? 

Sighed, facepalm everytime I open my wallet

Got money but I can't use, pathetic much

Okay okay, I'm ending this here

Thanks for reading, enjoy your life

See you next time :)

Aw well

Hi people, I know it has been awhile since I last blogged. I've been really lazy to blog so yeah, no excuse kay ? Life has been tough for me this few months and I don't really know how to describe it. Alright, basically what happened is..
1) Fought with parents
2) Broke Up with girlfriend
3) Flunk my maths and many tests
4) Getting fatter and fatter
5) Surviving my horrible horrible school
I'll elaborate on this few points so yeah, stay with me and continue reading :)

1) Fought with parents  : Alright, I know we all have been through this kind of argument before, and I know, we all know that, we hate it . Why ? Because we love our parents, sometime we might not say it, but we do, we all do. And having to break their heart is something I hated to do the most. Not being immature, but sometimes, parents really don't understand us. Not only that they don't understand us, they also pretended they do and ignored how we feel and think. I mean, people change, so its not like I'm the me who I used to be. But they don't get that, they thought that I'm just a 3 years old kid that need parent to help me decide what to do and what not to do. And also, generation gap. Yes I know, they have their own generation while we have ours, so I don't really blame them for that. But, seriously, saying "fuck" is not being no manner okay ? Besides, I really don't use that to adults or people that I respected. Those that I said fuck to, is either my good friends, or someone that ill-treated me. How I hope they could understand that... 

2)Broke Up with girlfriend : Nothing much to talk about. I don't know what went wrong with her, probably something that I did wrong. And she threw temper on me like crazy and I simply can't take it anymore and broke up with her. I felt bad because I told myself that I would last long with her. Her name is Sabrina, have a tough life and not much friends. Which make me felt even more guilty with breaking up with her. But its all over now, no point talking bout it. It's not like I'm the kind of person who wouldn't hang on to the past but, her, one time is all I need to learn about her. Perhaps I'm alittle cruel with not giving her another chance but I'm sure, she won't be the kind of girl I can invest my feelings in. But still, I wanna thank her for all the memories and happy moments. Everything wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for her.

3)Flunk my maths and many tests : I'm sure everyone is having trouble with their studies, me too. But, maths really isn't my thing ya' know ? I'm more obsess with design and art or probably music, despite I know how bad I am when it comes to music, the rythm and stuffs. Pfft, I just can't get a single thing that my teacher taught me. Alright I'm making progress but I doubt if I can catch up with my maths and do well in the EOY this year... Aw well, I guess I just have to try. And, my History is deproving as well, uhhh, gonna buck up alot more now. 

4)Getting fatter and fatter : ALRIGHT, this is what troubles me the most! Compare my body figure to last year's , damn, I'm really gaining alot of weight. From 50+ kg to 67 kg , that's alot kay ? I hate that wheel tummy of mine , I feel like uncle and look really funny. Sighed, all comes down to my self-esteem again. I'm totally losing it due to this issue man.. The reason why I'm fat now is because I hasn't been exercising the past few months.. Basically the whole year. So, I'm planning to work out more and hopefully, get back my abs and regaining my stamina. Wish me luck guys!

5)Surviving my horrible horrible school : Okay okay, admit that. We all hated our school. Sometimes I just felt that the pupils in my school are just so mean... And so many backstabbers and stuff, I don't get it. If you guys don't wanna be friend, then just say it in each other's face. Why must you guys do so many little actions and pattern ? Pattern more than badminton, that's damn childish can ? Jeez, not saying that everyone in my school are mean and I'm definitely NOT racist. But malay boys, please grow up. All those insulting and teasing, not funny bro. It makes you look stupid and arrogant. Learn to respect others before someone lay their hands on you. And, don't ever try to mess with chinese, I repeat, don't try. You respect us, we respect you, simple as that. Those malays that are able to mix with chinese, you know why ? Because they respect us hence we respect them. Learn and apply, thank you. 

Alright, shall stop here. Hope you guys have a great holiday ahead and enjoy :) Byee

Well

I thought I'm over you, I really thought I did. 
But when I least expected, you're back. And I feel that heart beat again
I really, don't want any misunderstanding. Please don't ignore me or anything when you sees this :/
You're still here *point at my heart* 
I hide the feeling deep inside my heart, but I guess it's too big to be unseen
I got a little bit popular, and lots of girls actually inboxing me :/
But when you talk to me, I unconsciously ignore them all. 
I know it's not a right thing to do but, I only wanted to reply your inbox :/
Your words struck me hard, knowing that you thought about me makes me happy too.
I don't know why, but it did .
You said what if you didn't leave that day, if you didn't. 
If you didn't, we might have more precious moments and memories.
If you didn't, I might be able to help you overcome him that time.
If you didn't, alot of things would have been different.
But it wasn't your fault, it wasn't. 
I rushed my feeling, didn't I ? 
If only I held back alittle longer, try a little harder.
Things would have been so different.
Well, as you said, it was the past already.
I should probably let it go, and just be friend with you :)
But I wouldn't mind if one day you turn back and tell me that you like me.
I would still fall for you, it's crazy but I still will :)
From all the girls I know, you are the most simple one.
You're different, you're more matured than all of them. 
More kind and friendly than all of them
More cheerful than all of them
More sweet than all of them
Of course and alot more, which couldn't be describe by words
But you're just different than other girls
V, I wasn't trying to say anything but, you're the best :)
Be friend also never mind, but you always made my day :)