Today

I stopped blogging for awhile, basically because I don't know what to write
Nothing special about my current life
I fall in love with a girl, got together and live a steady life now.
Now looking at those arrogant people in my life, I felt disgusted


You're not a boss, nobody sees you as one. 
If they don't like it, means they don't like it. 
No matter how you try, they won't listen to you.
Don't think of yourself that highly, because in the reality, you're nothing but piece of shit
I know my words are harsh, but that's how it suppose to sounds like.
It's not that everything that you says goes, it's just that everyone are not interested in arguing with you
If they really wanted, nothing you says will goes, believe me.
People goes along with your way doesn't mean that you're right, its just that they don't feel like going against you.
Don't think that you can get all the girls you want, because if you continues that way, nobody will likes you.
Treating people the way how they treat you, that's a right thing to do.
You said it, but you didn't do it that way.
The way you treated your parents are just a perfect example how you didn't do what you said.
They buy food for you, they gives you allowance, they offered you a place to sleep, they brought you into this world
Without them giving you money, you think you would be able to pay for your bills ? and buy what you want ?
Without them giving you money, you think you would be able the save the money ? 
They don't own you anything, you're the one in debt with them. 
And, respect others parents, they didn't do anything wrong to you
Fuck other people parents ? Go and fuck then you talk. 
To be frank, you're not even matured, no to even mention whether you're a teen with kid in heart
Smart ? You smart ? I haven't even use my brain to think and work then I'm already at your standard.
Don't think you're that smart. Because seriously you're not. 
You're good in sports, I have nothing to say about that. 
There are facts about you that I agreed, but lots I don't . 
About those things you did w her, you should glad that I kept as secrets.
Because I made a promise with you, and I kept it. 
Don't take me for granted, because I will treat you the same.
I live longer than you, I experienced more than you
I understands more than you, I learnt more than you.
I learnt the way how people wanted to be treated, and don't want to be.
I understands how people felt, and how they choose to react
I live the life that's tougher than you, you wouldn't even fucking understands
I experienced things more horrible than you did, you wouldn't even want to try.
Don't act like you're some wise old man, when you're not. 
Do some self-reflection before you try to do anything.
Because we're brothers, that's why I pointed out your flaws.
I want you to know that, being a better person is so much more easier
Not respecting your parents isn't SWAG
Taking your friends as granted isn't SWAG
Think highly of yourself isn't SWAG
Smoking isn't SWAG, even if you're not a regular smoker
You're still far from SWAG, try harder.


Sincerely, your best bud. 

You, yeah you

Hey people! Well, wasn't really a good day for me

She's still as cold to me, ever since that fight

Perhaps I'm really at wrong, but, this is really killing me

I really don't know what to do

Move on ? Well, I tried :/ 

If it works, I would already did.

And now, I'm really lost :(

Still remember those times when your texts

Are so sweet, when our conversation are awesome

When we first met at Nex, when we first watch POV

When you drop your phone, when you smile

It might not sound so important to you, but not for me

Why ? Because the one that's loving is me not you

I'm not blaming you for anything

It wasn't your fault to start with anyway

I'm the one that choose to fall in love :/ 

Heh, silly me :) 

You talked about love, you talked about how it should be

I really believe, at least I tried to believe

Because I'm silly enough to believe that

If I tried to go along with you

We might get back to how we were like

I don't ask you for stead, I only want you to be that awesome bf of mine

Bf could be anything

It represents Boyfriend and BestFriend

And I want you to be both

I really cared about you

Cause I don't want you to ended up like me

Heart doesn't glue back when it keeps breaking

You might think that I don't know anything

Actually, I only pretended I don't 

I choose to remain quiet

Sometimes, it's better off untold

During the exam, I couldn't focus

After finishing the paper

I spending the rest of the remaining time 

Scribble on the extra foolscap

And yeah, everything written on it

Is you, about you.

ARIEL CHUA ZHI HUI 

Not kidding. It's really you

I just wanted to figure out

What's the best way to entertain you

To make you laugh, make you smile

Letting you cool down when someone pissed you off

But who knows ? In the end I pissed you off too

I still don't think that your attitude is bad

Because I know I was wrong, that's why you're treating me this way

Right ? 

Even if I go for checkup, make a video

Sing a song, buy a thousand roses

Perhaps I will still not be forgiven :/

People, don't ask me what I did

Cause I don't want to tell 

And I won't share

Kay ?

The number of times we texted decreased

You know why ? 

Because I feels that I'm irritating, perhaps I really are

So I sometime think that it's better for me to leave you alone

At least you won't be pissed any further

I'm trying my best here. 

That time when you said, " If I died" 

Whether you believe or not, I really cried

I cried because I don't want you to leave my life

Perhaps it won't be the same anymore in the future

But at least i wanted to be truthful to myself now

Be frank with my own feeling

And do what I wanted to do

I'm always doing the same thing

Loving someone who are deeply hurt or in love with someone else

Don't ask me why, I'm just attracted by the scars they have

They seem just so similar to me

Just that people don't notice. 

I guess this is just my life

Hahaha :) 

It's okay if I cried, cause I will wipe away those tears

It's okay if I give up, cause I will eventually pick it up again

This is just me, I couldn't control myself or stop myself from doing it.

If you ever read this post , please pretend you didn't

So at least, I won't feel more, pathetic :/

Coming Back

Sup people :) It really has been awhile since I last blogged ;) So yeahh, suddenly got tempted to blog and so I did :D Recently, yeah, I fell in love. Hmm, it took me awhile, but now, yeah , I'm in love. What do we mean by falling in love ? Actually nobody knows, because it doesn't have a solid description of how it was like and how we explain it. It just plain incredible, and somewhat awesome. I don't know if she'll be like Valerie, because she look like Valerie too >< But now, even things that I wrote became A all the way == Same thing happened when I first like Valerie, so how ? Typical teenager ._. Btw, my this stupidsillyshagua crush's name is call Ariel Chua :/ Yeahh, Ariel Chua. Sighed, still troubling about whether she'll turn up for tomorrow's date. 

Yeahh, alot of people say love is blind. I used to say that too. But it wasn't blind, we choose to close our eyes on what is wrong instead. What we're doing is pushing the blames on love, as if it wasn't our business at all. And accepting someone who is terrible wasn't because you're mad, it's because you love him/her, you accept his/her flaws. Don't be so insecure about love, it was suppose to help you grow stronger in life. Just in case you don't know, no matter how high you built the wall, someone will break it down like nothing matters. You won't be able to resist, because it's unresistable. I know to lots of people, love is a danger. But sometimes it wasn't, it heals your heart, smooth your soul. Love applies differently on different people and changes from time to time. I ain't Lord Romantic, but at least I tried to look at Love from different perspective points and judge it accordingly. Please, don't be afraid of love, it wasn't so that dangerous and fairy tales. It's true kay ?

ARIEL CHUA, MY DEAR BOYFRIEND MACHIAM SHUAIGE 

I know you're shy, VERY shyshy, SUPER SHYSHY

LIKE OMG AM I SAYING ><

I ask you out on a date for like more than 7 times in the past seven days, damnn zaii horh :b 

Later I go show other people my E-Cup Boob uhhh :b Hehehe

I prefer to call you bhyy, so here's a little something for you even though you might not see it

I like you, and hence I love you. I machiam love you like Rose love Jack in Titanic :b Ohyeah, there wasn't a  "YOU JUMP, I JUMP"  scene ;) I don't expect you to believe me, I know there are people out there calling me Playboy. But now I love you, you so machiam cute larhhh >< I think the reason why you wouldn't say yes is because we never actually met in real-life, but the thing is, we DID ._. I think I too small for you to see liao that's whyy :B We random like shit, we sweet like awesome. We weren't couple, people won't know. But I know, alottt of guys like you know ? I'm not happy with the idea of someone else having you. So I will keepon trying and trying, until you're mine. I have too much things to say, I leave it for the status in facebook >:3 So yeahhh, ShuaiGe be ready horh :b OLEOLEOLEOLEEEEHHHH 

In my room

Alrights, tonight I have too many thoughts in mind :) Let the pictures speak on the behalf of me :) 

So, I'm all alone in my room right now. No interruption, nothing at all. My room is like one of the places where I could seriously lie down and have thoughts over and over again. About the past, how things could be different and stuffs. Sighed, too many thoughts on mind, can't figure anything out. 


I SWEAR TO THE MOTHER OF GOD , MY ROOM IS ***** COLD ! Its like the air-con intend to freeze me like those meats in my refrigerator -.- And the remote for the air-con is spoiled, asdfghjkl!@#$*&^%$# ! This holiday doesn't feel like a holiday, it's just like any other weeks I have. Spend more than half of the week staying at home, rotting. I was thinking, "Wts, I'm really lifeless here. Should stop lying on my bed and go exercise or do my homework." But in the end, I continued to rot in my bed :b Hahahaha, until now, I haven't touch my homework :3 Don't want to touch it too, damn pecek. 


So, I went out on a date with my cousin yesterday. Went to see doctor for the treatment for my pimples (Y) Looking forward to the result :) Then went to orchard's Madarin Gallery and ate Ramen! Ohmygosh, the Ramen was really awesome ! But really expensive though :/ Idk why but my cousin says that the price wasn't expensive, is she really that rich ? After that we went to catch a show - John Carter :D Well, Disney production so you can already expect how ridiculous the story will be :) But it was quite awesome too, the dog inside the movie was shooooo cute ><  After the movie, I can't believe we went to cafe and drank tea and latte :3 Starting to enjoy life a different way now :) Ohyeah, my cousin bought a PSVITA >:( Goddamn, $500++ ! She really is rich ! And that makes me having the temptation to buy one too, but aw well, no cash :(  After the date I went to Gerome's house :) Tonned there :D We were happily playing games and the next moment we realize, it was 3.15 a.m. -.- We were like what the **** ? Guess happy times really pass by fast uhh . And then we decided to stop playing and went to sleep, then woke up at 11.30 a.m -.- Again, what the **** ? Then rushed back home to do houseworks :3 


I guess yesterday is the only day that felt like how a holiday should be :( And tomorrow the school reopens, I'm not in the mood though :x Come onnnn, let me fall sick tomorrow :( ARGHHHHH. 


Alright, many things happen in this week. One of my buddy broke up w his gf and the other got stead, one more is on the edge of r/s . So, I guess they would understand how love is really like soon. Although love is complicated, I still wanted to fall in love. I'm shoo jelly when I saw those sweet couples cuddle, holding hands, kissing and etc. Ughh, why I no have that kind of r/s ? Still finding, but probably not anytime soon, because I like no one :D 


Should stop writing lerhhh, goodnight my friends :) Sweetdreams. Biggest love here :D

...

Went to ECP ( East Coast Park ) today, have been very moody ever since I reached home. Somehow, everything there hurts my heart. It has been 1 year and a half, you left me. I thought I have forgotten every single thing, but I was wrong. Yeah, the feelings of loving you has fade away, but it still hurts me when i saw those waves of the sea and the beach that we went to. So, this is the side-effect of love. So once again, my sky starts to rain. Remember that 2 months, exactly 2 months. Yeah, the first month is like honeymoon, everything went smooth and sweet. But the fights came in the second month. I still blame myself because it's my actions that makes you leave me. I didn't get to say but hey, I'm really not that experienced in love, sorry for my immaturity actions, I didn't meant to hurt you. But what for saying this now ? You won't see this post, you wont see my tears, you won't see the nights I've been through, you won't see the broke-downs I've been through. There are so many things you won't see, about me. I wonder if I was too protective, I guess so. Speak the fact, I never actually like any single person around me, no even my best buddies and my parents. So I don't know what's the correct way to show love, because it applies differently on different people. I have 6 or 7 exs, but those that I really fell for, I could count it with 3 fingers. I know that everytime when I talk about my love life, it would always be the same but what's within the words, has a different meaning. So, I want that feeling to struck me again. The feeling of anxiousness when that particular person don't reply your texts, the feeling of happiness when you successfully made that particular person smiled. They are all the best, don't talk about how it would change into when the r/s ends. It's not about the outcome, it's the process that we should be focusing on. 


So, AYH. I want to show you these pics, do you still remember them ? 

When we joke and laughed, walking through this underground tunnel, The echoes made by this tunnel, echoes my heart, which beats for you at that point of time. Like every step I take, I don't have to afraid. Like there won't be ghosts in the horror movies to appear in the tunnel because you were here.

And this beach, do you remember ? I want to shout this in your ears," DO YOU REMEMBER !?" You wrote I love Leon here, you freaking wrote it. You told me you wont ask for break-up, so what have you done in the end ? So it was meant to be wash away by the waves and just be gone ? I really don't know, how you could just fall for another guy in less than 3 weeks. And that guy is a dick. He don't consider about how you felt, what's the consequences of his actions and all kind of shits. He doesn't care if you parents would see what he wrote on fb, he just freaking post it. And put all those r/s status and stuffs. Issit because you wanna hurt me so badly ? You know how painful it is to see him post "I lovedieyou <3" on your wall, YOU KNOW ? I couldn't believe it, you did that, you freaking did. And you know how I feel when you ask MJ to give all those keychains and ring I gave you ? You know I nearly break down when I saw the keychains and ring ? You don't, because you won't. It's really hurtful when you said," I used to love you, but now, I think I only like you." that's the most cruel thing you could ever said, to me. I broke down that day, infront of my buddies. And I have to act like nothing happens when I chat with you on phone. Yeah, I make mistake. That one single mistake just simply erase away everything of me and you ? Really ? Forget it, no point saying it anymore. Yeah, you're gone, I'm gone too. 


"No, love isn't a game. It's a sacrifice. They sacrifices you to find a better one for themselves."

Hatred

"Why hating ? When all hatred do is making you suffer?"

Today I just wanted to rant about this little thing called hatred. Why I cross out that word ? Because it doesn't exist in my life dictionary. Yeahh, sometimes we felt pissed off by certain people and things thats happening, but, I don't think that is serious enough to be hated. When you're complaining, rambling and insulting her behind her back, have you put yourself in her shoes? No, you didn't, neither did she. But just simply that attitude you all don't like, you all hate her, not dislike but hate. Does hating her makes you feel happy ? Does gossiping bad things behind her makes you happy ? No, it doesn't. Ya know, just speak up. That makes life easier for everyone, you don't need to act infront of her, neither is she. If it's just her attitude problem then it's easy, I could convince her to change her attitude. But now, ask yourself sincerely, will you even take her in if she change ? No you won't, it wasn't just her fault now. Don't get so heated up and argue back, think about what I say. Ask yourself again, what if you are her ? Have you ever felt so extra for being left out in the class ? Or being treated like a spare-tyre ? Did you ? It's just your one-sided thoughts that trying shut her out, from the whole crew . I'm not siding with anyone, I just felt that this is a right thing to say. Now other people thought both of you were friend, but it's disgusting( no offense). A friendship is just an empty shell, there's nothing inside. So why still keep that friendship? Of course, if you still not agree with what I say, I couldn't do anything, its up to you. But I want to tell you, hating isn't the only way.

Yeah..

Alright, here I am blogging again. Actually, I don't feel like blogging today but. Aw well, since it has been awhile so I'll blog kayy ? Kinda surprise that she actually saw my post, haha. I mean, yeah, I never really expect her to see it cause I thought I've been long forgotten, hahaa. Hey Val, this blog of mine is supposed to be mainly English kayy ? So worries are not necessary, those that are wrote in Chinese, are probably dedicated to my Malaysia's friends :) 


I don't think I can make it throughout half of this year, I might faint or something. It's just too tiring for me ! Because...


Monday : Stay Back after school
Tuesday: Basketball Training after school
Wednesday: Piano lessons at Dhoby Ghaut 
Thursday: Basketball Training after school
Friday: Stay Back after school 
Saturday& Sunday: Hanging out with friends


I ain't superman ya'know ? I'm using every bit of my energy to type now ._. Sighed, hope life can get slightly easier. Now, all my friends got a person they like or in relationship with, when will I have one ? I've got no one to like, to woo or stuffs. I have that desire to love but I just don't want to be too despo, and, I want it to last. I haven't get that feeling from anyone yet. Nobody likes me, and I like nobody. (Y), foreveralone. 


I never blame anyone for who I am today, because it's mainly my fault. Yeahh, of course, sometimes I might just rambling and just complain, but I didn't mean it. Because I choose to be who I am, not because they changed me. I'm like a person with many personalities, I get generous sometimes, I get petty, sometimes I get emotional, sometimes I get cheerful. There wasn't any particular mood for me, I feel like behaving that way, then I will. Of course, I try not to get my friends involve with my personalities problem. But hey, I'm not going crazy kayy ? 


From the first time I saw you, I know you're different :) Friend to love, and back to friend again. Yeahh, ValerieTXJ, thats you. Why I would admire you but not the others ? Because you're nearly the same as me, your mindset and etc. Remember that night when we chat, stranger to stranger ? I couldn't felt any awkwardness and stuffs, I just open my heart and talked to you :) I love doing that :) Although many things happened after that, but, you'll be damn awesome no matter whoever you are to me. Aw well, sudden lost in words. Gonna stop blogging and go eat lerh :) Read my blog harh :b 


Alright, bloggers. Bye :)