Thursday 15 March 2012

...

Went to ECP ( East Coast Park ) today, have been very moody ever since I reached home. Somehow, everything there hurts my heart. It has been 1 year and a half, you left me. I thought I have forgotten every single thing, but I was wrong. Yeah, the feelings of loving you has fade away, but it still hurts me when i saw those waves of the sea and the beach that we went to. So, this is the side-effect of love. So once again, my sky starts to rain. Remember that 2 months, exactly 2 months. Yeah, the first month is like honeymoon, everything went smooth and sweet. But the fights came in the second month. I still blame myself because it's my actions that makes you leave me. I didn't get to say but hey, I'm really not that experienced in love, sorry for my immaturity actions, I didn't meant to hurt you. But what for saying this now ? You won't see this post, you wont see my tears, you won't see the nights I've been through, you won't see the broke-downs I've been through. There are so many things you won't see, about me. I wonder if I was too protective, I guess so. Speak the fact, I never actually like any single person around me, no even my best buddies and my parents. So I don't know what's the correct way to show love, because it applies differently on different people. I have 6 or 7 exs, but those that I really fell for, I could count it with 3 fingers. I know that everytime when I talk about my love life, it would always be the same but what's within the words, has a different meaning. So, I want that feeling to struck me again. The feeling of anxiousness when that particular person don't reply your texts, the feeling of happiness when you successfully made that particular person smiled. They are all the best, don't talk about how it would change into when the r/s ends. It's not about the outcome, it's the process that we should be focusing on. 


So, AYH. I want to show you these pics, do you still remember them ? 
When we joke and laughed, walking through this underground tunnel, The echoes made by this tunnel, echoes my heart, which beats for you at that point of time. Like every step I take, I don't have to afraid. Like there won't be ghosts in the horror movies to appear in the tunnel because you were here.


And this beach, do you remember ? I want to shout this in your ears," DO YOU REMEMBER !?" You wrote I love Leon here, you freaking wrote it. You told me you wont ask for break-up, so what have you done in the end ? So it was meant to be wash away by the waves and just be gone ? I really don't know, how you could just fall for another guy in less than 3 weeks. And that guy is a dick. He don't consider about how you felt, what's the consequences of his actions and all kind of shits. He doesn't care if you parents would see what he wrote on fb, he just freaking post it. And put all those r/s status and stuffs. Issit because you wanna hurt me so badly ? You know how painful it is to see him post "I lovedieyou <3" on your wall, YOU KNOW ? I couldn't believe it, you did that, you freaking did. And you know how I feel when you ask MJ to give all those keychains and ring I gave you ? You know I nearly break down when I saw the keychains and ring ? You don't, because you won't. It's really hurtful when you said," I used to love you, but now, I think I only like you." that's the most cruel thing you could ever said, to me. I broke down that day, infront of my buddies. And I have to act like nothing happens when I chat with you on phone. Yeah, I make mistake. That one single mistake just simply erase away everything of me and you ? Really ? Forget it, no point saying it anymore. Yeah, you're gone, I'm gone too. 


"No, love isn't a game. It's a sacrifice. They sacrifices you to find a better one for themselves."

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